


Five Years

by goresmores



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Cheating, Depression, M/M, inferiority problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goresmores/pseuds/goresmores
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>first prompt for Oisuga week!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Years

**Author's Note:**

> lmao guess who forgot to post this during oisuga week! thats right- this guy. and i only have 1 finished prompt. im truly an example of inspired creative writing if ive ever seen one. so, this is Day 1: Routine!

Five years. 

Five years of getting up in the morning to the sight of his boyfriend's gorgeous face, with his eyes closed and hair tousled and enjoying the sight of it before having to wake him up so that they could start getting ready for the day. 

Five years. 

Five years of coming home to Oikawa waiting for him, sometimes with food, sometimes without. He grew used to the playful and fun, sometimes half-tired from the day deciding of whether they should go out, order in or make something there in the apartment. The smile-filled bickering and bargaining that came with deciding where they should go or order from, or who should cook that night if they stayed in and even those times that they thought they should make dinner together. 

Five years of going to sleep at night, snuggled up to one another, legs tangled, arms thrown across each other while breaths slowed. Of nights where they were more touchy feely and in the mood, exchanges of kisses and heated touches and the feeling of closeness that came with the intimacy. 

Of course, it wasn't always sunshine and rainbows. Love is hard, but that was okay, because they could work through it. 

Maybe Sugawara missed a meal when they were fighting and chose to lock himself up in their room instead of eating, leaving Oikawa out in the living room for the night. Maybe they didn't share a bed, and he went to sleep alone and angry, or sad and crying. In the end, it was okay, because they got past it. 

So with all of that in mind, he figured it was safe to assume it would be no different when a few problems came up and Oikawa working late. 

He didn't come home as early and Sugawara started coming home to an empty apartment more often. 

It was only temporary, right? He wouldn't be staying late forever.

He thought it'd be no different when Oikawa, one day, a few weeks into the new schedule, didn't come home at all. “He probably just fell asleep at the office. He's known for overworking, after all.” Suga mused to himself as he got dressed. 

But he felt an uncomfortable tug in his chest. Worry. 

When he got home that day, Oikawa was sitting on the couch and Suga gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Are you doing okay? You didn't come home last night and I want to make sure you don't make that a regular thing. Work is important but so is your health.” 

Oikawa smiled, “I'm fine Kou-chan! And it won't, don't worry.” 

Sugawara smiled back but something was off and it had everything to do with Oikawa's smile but Sugawara wanted to trust him, so all he said in response was “Alright then, good. So! How about dinner? What are you feeling?” 

Suga saw the struggle for what to say on Oikawa's face before he answered “I actually ate with some of my co-workers, sorry! They wouldn't take no for an answer.” 

There was that tug again. “That's fine! I'll just make something for myself then. Did you want to watch a movie or something while I eat?”

“Sure Kou-chan! Can I pick?” 

Suga smiled at his enthusiasm, “Of course.” 

While Oikawa chose something to watch, Sugawara went into the kitchen and decided to heat up some leftovers since he wasn't in much of a cooking mood. 

 

When it looked like Oikawa had chosen a movie, Suga called out to him, “What're we watching, Tooru?” 

“Pacific Rim!” 

“Nice, nice! That's one of my favorites.” 

His food dinged and Suga grabbed his plate out of the microwave, grabbing some chopsticks before going to sit down on the couch. 

Oikawa joined him after he put the movie in and flicked off the lights. 

For the first portion of the movie, he was busy eating and watching, but after he finished he saw the chance to sneak in some movie cuddles. Suga went to lean on his shoulder but Oikawa's body betrayed him. He was stiff. Suga felt him try to relax but he could tell it wasn't working. 

Sugawara leaned away and stared off into the distance for a moment. It was empty-headed staring as he tried to understand his own physical reaction to Oikawa's behavior. 

He turned around. 

Oikawa was looking at him. 

“Is something the matter? Are you sure you're okay?” 

Oikawa looked like he didn't know how to respond. 

“I think... maybe we should just go to bed.” 

His boyfriend glanced back at the screen, but picked up the remote and turned off the tv. 

“Okay.” 

Sugawara led the way to the bedroom and made quick work of changing into his pajamas. He crawled into bed and was soon joined by Oikawa but it was obvious this wasn't a snuggle night. 

Suga stayed as close to the edge as he comfortably could and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come as fast as it could. 

Unfortunatley, it didn't and it was an agonizing night of laying there thinking about the man beside him and what could be wrong that he isn't telling him. 

 

In the morning, Sugawara woke up and was somewhat glad to find Oikawa still beside him. 

Tooru looked so peaceful and it felt like nothing in world could be wrong when Sugawara looked at him like this. But that wasn't such for this morning. Sugawara was very aware of what was wrong today. It wasn't a good peaceful run lately. 

Something was wrong between them, he just couldn't place what it was. 

Suga let his eyes fall closed, the image of Oikawa beside him still in his mind. They had the day off, which meant hopefully, they could actually talk. 

Eventually he felt Tooru stir and he opened his eyes, meeting his partner's big milky browns, still cloudy with sleep. 

“Morning, Tooru.” 

Oikawa smiled a sleepy smile. “Good morning, Kou-chan.” 

Koushi wasn't so sure it was a “good” morning, exactly, but he wasn't going to say anything yet. 

“Do you want to go out for breakfast?” he asked, hoping they could have a good morning together and get a good mood going before he brough up something serious. 

“Su-” Oikawa was cut off by the sound of his phone buzzing. 

He picked it up and unlocked it. 

His expression changed to one of something like worry and a bit of something else. 

“Is something wrong? You don't have to go to work, do you?” 

“I'm afraid so... Sorry Kou-chan.” 

Koushi felt his expression falling but he had to keep it up, “No, no, it's okay! It's work! You can't help it!” He sat up and pushed the covers off. “Actually, uhm, I can take you? We can get you something on the way, I didn't feel like cooking this morning anyway.” Suga got up and started to get dressed

“That sounds good Koush— chan.” 

Sugawara felt a tingle go through his body and goosebumps start to form on his arms. 

His name was one of those tell-tale things. 

He outright called him Koushi when he was stressed, having sex with him, being serious or lying. 

This wasn't playful and it wasn't sex so either Oikawa was more stressed out than Sugawara thought or he was lying. 

He turned around and saw that Oikawa had frozen for a second but kept moving as if he wanted to pretend that hadn't happened. 

“Tooru.” 

“I can't do this anymore.” 

Suga stiffened and dared to ask, “Do what?” 

Oikawa sighed and turned around. “I don't have work today. I'm blowing you off to go see someone else that I'm dating.” Blunt, to the point and sharp as a knife.

Sugawara felt another tingle. “S-someone else? Like... another boyfriend? You're...?” 

“Yes. I'm cheating on you.” 

Suga swallowed his spit. “No?” The word ended on with a breathy sound of disbelief. As in he didn't. Couldn't. Oikawa couldn't be dating someone else.

“Yes. I have another boyfriend and we've been dating for about two months now.” 

That was how long he'd been staying later at work. 

“So you... you...?” 

“Lied about having to staying longer so I could see him after work? I did.” 

Surprisingly, Sugawara didn't feel the need to cry yet, but he knew he would. “Can I... ask why?” 

“I don't know, to be totally honest with you. I just feel like I've known him for forever and there's just something about him...” Suga could hear how smitten he was, but at the same time, he was sad. 

He could ask who it was, but he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know who had swept Oikawa off his feet so quickly. Who Oikawa was going out to dinner with now. Who he was probably sleeping with by now. 

“Are you staying here?” Part of him wanted to the answer to be yes- that he would keep living with him, because he wasn't ready to let go. But at the same time, he didn't want to have to deal with the pain of seeing him everyday when there wouldn't be anything between them anymore.

“I was going to move out next week but I might have to be quicker about that, huh, Kou-chan?” 

Suga's face contorted uncomfortably and he opened his mouth to speak but his voice was too low.

“Huh?” 

“Please don't call me that. Not anymore.” It hurt too much.

“Ah, right, sorry then, Suga-chan.” Oikawa smiled sadly at him and Suga decided he didn't want to look at him anymore. 

The man he loved just told him he was cheating on him. One of the biggest pieces of his world was crumbling from underneath his feet and he had a really strong feeling he was gonna fall hard with it.

The nagging inferiority flared up and it felt like it was gonna choke him. Was he not good enough? How could someone Oikawa had known for two months have outdone what he'd made with more than five years of time? Five years of experience. Similar to the two years of experience he had over Kageyama back in high school. The two years that still hadn't been enough. 

He had been replaced for the better of the team. Maybe he was being replaced for the better of Oikawa. 

That train of thought was not helping. 

Suga rushed out of the room and into the kitchen, grabbing a cup and filling it with tap water. He took a large gulp and struggled to swallow it all. 

When it was finally he down, he heard and saw his tears plip into the water of his cup and he took another drink just because of that. Everything feels pretty fucked up right now, might as well add to it by drinking some of your own tears, right? He was frustrated with himself, and depressed to boot.

Sugawara really didn't want to cry with Oikawa here but he couldn't help it. Instead of standing in the kitchen where Oikawa could come in at any minute and see him, he locked himself in the bathroom and sat on the floor, curling in on himself while he cried quietly and wetted the knees of his jeans with his tears. 

He wasn't sure how much later it was but he eventually heard the door to their— soon to be just his— apartment shut.

After that, he didn't see Oikawa anymore. Or at least, not at the apartment. Sometimes he'd run into him at the store and would avoid him as best as he could manage but it was just him now. A few days after he had left, Suga came home and noticed that more of Oikawa's stuff was gone. 

Now the routine was coming home, ordering out and lying on the couch for long periods of time. Sometimes he cried, other times he just stared off into the distance. More empty-minded staring. One night he had Kiyoko come over. They ate ice cream and watched action movies with lots of explosions, violence and death. She pat him on the back while he cried and they broke out the vodka. After a drunk night, Sugawara was hungover, of course, but fired up to get over his ex. He was gonna be a happy single guy until he could find someone new and there wouldn't even be a rush.

Eventually there was nothing left of Oikawa's belongings in the apartment, but Suga found a small alien toy in a drawer when he was looking for some tape. 

He could keep it, or he could throw it away. Throw it away and purge what remained of Oikawa in the apartment. Release some of his frustration by throwing it away, as if to say “Ha! Look what I can do! I don't care that you've left me!”

After staring at it for a good four or five minutes, Suga threw it on the floor somewhere. He didn't bother to see where it landed because he didn't care. Couldn't care.

The alien, when he thought about it, was a lot like Oikawa. 

It wasn't Suga's to keep or throw away. So Suga let it go to be wherever it was that it was going to go and, still like Oikawa, did as best as he could in trying to forget about it.


End file.
